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Using Your Attention to Be Happy

There are two possibilities in every moment. The first possibility is to have all of our attention, curiosity and passion focused on what is happening. The other possibility is to focus that same curiosity, attention, and passion on what isn't happening, what is not present, or what want to be happening. The question is: In this moment, what are you giving your attention to? Are you allowing what is, or trying to change it in some way?

When our focus is on what is, our experience opens up and becomes bigger, richer, and more complete. But when we focus on what is not (including the past, the future, or any thought about what should be), our experience of the moment contracts down and becomes much narrower and full of struggle and suffering, because inherent in our focus on what is not is the tendency to struggle with what is.

We discover that much of the time we are oriented toward what is not and in opposition to what is. Life can be mostly about how to make our experience better and have more pleasure, and how to avoid the things that are painful. We evaluate our experience to see what's wrong with this moment and how it could be improved. We ask ourselves what could be added to it to make it better. As a result, our attention becomes very narrow and our awareness very limited as we focus on our own thoughts about the moment instead of the moment itself.

Once we see how much time we spend struggling with what is, the tendency is to go to battle with that-to try to fix that. We think the solution is to fix this tendency to try to change everything. But that only changes the content of our struggle: Now we are struggling with our tendency to try to change things. We suffer over the fact that we are suffering.

The other possibility is to just notice how much you suffer, without trying to do anything about it. Just allow the fact that you don't allow much. Just recognize that that is the way it is. This struggling with what is, is just what we were conditioned to do; and this conditioning is also a part of what is.

Once we take a break form being in opposition to what is, it becomes possible to see how our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the basic assumption that something is happening in "my" experience, there is no point in trying to change anything. Our struggle and effort to change what is makes sense only if there is a me. It is in service to maintaining the idea or image of a me. In fact, the struggle is what makes up the me. When the struggle stops, there is no me. All of our suffering is the means by which we maintain an identity.

Once we realize this, the tendency is to try to fix this-to try to change our belief about who we are. We focus on getting rid of identification, which is again, focusing on what is not. We are still suffering because now we are at war with our tendency to identify. Instead of being oriented toward and accepting of what is (our struggle with identification), we are oriented toward how we think it should be: I should know better than to be caught in identification; I should know who I really am.

Another possibility is to be really present to this tendency to identify, without making any effort to change it. If that's what is happening, then that's what is happening. You just let it be that way. You can even be amazed by it all, including the fact that there is a sense of a me. You see how unreal this me is, but you don't struggle to be rid of it. There's no longer an assumption that something is wrong that needs to be fixed. This subtle being with what is is what ends the suffering and brings us fully into the now.

When it is completely ok for things to be just the way they are,l including our identity, then naturally more of experience can be included in our awareness. If we just be present to and allow our identification and struggle, then it is also possible to notice something beyond all of that. We can call that Being.

So along with the struggle and suffering inherent in identification, is a much larger ground of Being in which everything is allowed. Our identity is just a thought or idea, but there is no need to judge or turn away from that idea. In addition to the struggling inherent in our identification, there is also present a profoundly rich ocean of Being, which is allows everything, including the "me". The struggle is only a tiny bit of our entire experience and even this struggle is allowed in the limitless presence of Being.

When we are allowing, we include in our awareness what it is that is allowing, and that is Being-which is who we really are. This realization can be a very jolting experience or a very quiet one because Being is actually very familiar. Every moment of allowing has actually been a moment of experiencing Being.

Paradoxically, what can open our eyes to the larger reality of Being is realizing how much we actually enjoy identifying. Once we completlely allow everything, it is easier to admit that identifying as a "me" has been fun. The appearance of a separate self is a creative act. It makes up the story of our lives, and these stories inspire many to create great literature and art. We may suffer from our identity, but we also love it. The "me" is not a mistake. It's as natural as everything else in this world. But there is also the even richer possibility of no longer taking the me to be the totality of who we are. Why limit ourselves to a small identity, when the much larger Being of our true nature is always here. In that there is no suffering.

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Internationally regarded spiritual teacher, Nirmala has offered Satsang and individual Spiritual Mentoring since 1998. He offers free spiritual books and many more ways to explore his teaching on endless-satsang.com.
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